The DOs + DON'Ts of Dating After a Bad Breakup
If you are fortunate enough to never have experienced heart break then God Bless your sweet little unbothered heart. If you are like the rest of us that have had to pick up the pieces after a bad breakup, then you know like I know that this sh%t, this sh%t right here son...
Luckily, I've messed up enough relationships, enough times to be able to share a list of DOs and DON'Ts to dating after said breakup:
1. Take Your Time
I know most people say the quickest way to get over someone is under someone else but that is strictly for rom-coms and should not be taken seriously in real life. Take time to make sure that 1. You are ready for another relationship and 2. You are fully over said EX. There is nothing worse than bringing your old guy's or gal's drama into the mix with your new potential bae.
2. Attempt to Get Closure
Hopefully you've waited long enough for your EX to "woo sah" and can now have a calm conversation with them about where exactly the two of you went wrong and can find it in your heart to relax, relate, and release the mess.
2A. Closure NOT AN OPTION...
If you're like me, and being in the same room for too long with your EX makes you a little nervous (not like butterfly nerves but police in the rearview nerves) then just make sure that you are being honest with yourself and can admit (again, to yourself) that you made some mistakes, you weren't fully committed, you cheated and that was the cause of your breakup...whatever YOU did to cause turmoil...face it and move on from it.
3. Cry it Out
Okay, you don't have to cry but it's cool if you want to. Let yourself feel all the sadness after a breakup. Cry, yell, have a few bottles of wine...(I meant glasses, kind of) whatever you need to do to make yourself feel a tiny bit better. Call your friends and have a sleepover, watch Waiting to Exhale, and dance to old 90's R&B songs...you don't have to "deal" alone.
1. Stalk them on Social Media
Do NOT...I repeat DO NOT spend your time scrolling through their timelines trying not to accidentally like a picture. This will not help you. Ever. Believe Me. Just Don't.
2. Seek Revenge
If I could have found a way to somehow burn the entire house down with all of my EX's belongings in it and avoid another jail cell...I would have. Seeing everything go up in flames would have given me ALL THE LIFE I NEEDED to get through the rest of my days. Thank God for Jesus though...
Revenge only fuels bitterness, and hatred and I don't need that kind of drama or karma in my life and neither do you hun. Accept the apology that will never come and let it go.
3. Throw in the Towel
He wasn't the one. She wasn't bae. It's okay. Don't close your heart up and give up on love. It's out there for us, somewhere waiting on us to experience the bruises and bullsh%t and when we are READY for it...it's gonna come out of nowhere.
In the meantime...
Work on you.
Learn what you can from the relationship.
Build on your relationship with God.
Stay focused on your dreams and stay humble. (Shout out to Kendrick!)
- Alexis D.