Consult Your Mother
There is always a reason why blogging happens; there is ALWAYS a story, a motivating force.
I'd like to share with you why I started writing...
Y'all...earlier this week I had a breakdown.
(I feel so sorry for my husband Christian sometimes)
I don't mean a cute breakdown either, I mean a snot running down my nose, tears flying, hysterically shaking, breakdown.
Ever since I have been pregnant I have read at least 4 articles a day about pregnancy, what to expect, etc. (ok 4 is pretty modest). There is also me reaching out to other mamas, asking questions, you know. This is in huge part because I just want to be a great mom. My mother, and maybe I'm bias, was the best mother ever. Literally I could go on and on about her but I won't. Lol. Let's just say if I'm half of the mother to my son as she was to me, man I would be amazing. All I need is half.
My mother also passed away in 2012, before I graduated college, before I started my military career, before she got to meet my husband, she was gone. Dead at 53.
She always wanted to be a grandmother (at the right time of course) she loved babies and dogs, thanks to my sister Rachel she was able to have a "grand-dog" before she left this earth. This alone brings so many tears to think she will never meet my son (in this world). I personally believe she has met and knows him well already but I'm not here to discuss my religious views; just know that I know my mom asked God for this baby to be in me right now. Miracles are real.
Ok back to my breakdown and me reading articles (follow me and my scattered brain lol).
So, these articles about pregnancy...many I read say to first consult your biological mother, because certain symptoms pass down generationally, so if you are experiencing it now, your mom might have as well and you can seek advice from her about what she did, etc.
That sounds great, BUT, then I get this strong urge to punch my screen (but then I don't because we ain't got money to be replacing laptops and iPhones every day).
How can these writers not consider people who don't have their mothers anymore? Whether they be deceased, or maybe you were adopted, or just not close at all to your mom.. you can't even mention that? Just to know you are thinking about me? A friend told me this "Still having your mother in your life is a type of privilege that most people don't recognize and appreciate", and she is so right! So, I extend grace to these writers. And even though they aren't saying sorry, I forgive them.
So how did I wipe my tears and to cope with this?
I prayed first. God is everything to me and He will fill every gap, and every void.
I then reached out to my loving, and supportive husband. Even though we still have his mother in our lives to be an amazing grandmother (so grateful for that), he still always knows what to say even when he can directly relate to the situation. I thank God for my leader.
After I reached out to my closest female family and friends (ones who are mothers and not mothers) Support is everything and I recognize the amazing village I have. God is so faithful.
My friend Mariah made me realize that I can be the voice I wanted to hear; this alone was a breakthrough that made my breakdown come to a close. If you want to see something done, do it. My friend Keriki provided the platform for me to express my thoughts via fullofsage and my cousin Shani helped me recognize that I am the bridge between my mother and my son.
My legacy is our son.
I represent my mother's legacy, and I am the bridge between the two. She is me and I am my son. I take pride and am excited to share memories of his grandmother with my baby boy. He will love her through me and vice versa.
And so, this blog came to life; I gave birth to the voice I wanted to hear and I pray I can be that voice for others as well.