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Dealing with Disappointment

Dealing with Disappointment


"You can't always get what you want..." -Mick Jagger


Truer words have never been spoken.  Disappointment is bound to strike all of us, at least multiple times a week.  Sometimes, the upset is so profound you feel like your entire world is about to end or worse...keep going just as it is..

The truth is your world doesn't have to end nor does it have to feel the same kind of painful forever; not if you say it won't.  You can rebound from disappointment and come out stronger than ever on the other side.  These things may help.

See the positivity in disappointment.  Disappointment is a natural and very sucky part of the human experience.  But if everything in your life were a shiny thing, then you may not be able to even see (let alone appreciate) the REALLY shiny things when they showedup.  In other words, we can experience the most joyous times in our lives with more potency BECAUSE tough times exist.  One doesn't happen without the other.  Disappointment also usually points out a clear action that needs to follow as a result.  Therefore shit has to suck sometimes.  Ok?  Ok.

Take time to care for yourself.  I  get it.  You may not be willing or able to see the bright side straightaway.  So, take the time you need. 

Take the time to put anyone who needs to be informed on notice that you'll be out of pocket for a while.  You don't need to say why; that's your business.  But saying something rather than disappearing without a trace will prevent the potential for creating more strain in your relationships, job expectations, etc. by choosing not to communicate at all.  It will also free you up completely to focus on your healing without the distraction of outside expectations. 

Carve out some space to recuperate and feel your feelings.  Hurt if you're hurt.  Be afraid if you're afraid.  Observe and honor your feelings, giving yourself permission to experience them.  Then, do some things that genuinely make you feel good and build you up.

Don't beat yourself up.  There may be something you could've done better to prevent or lessen your disappointment.  Accept that and make a choice to learn any lessons that arise.  That's productive introspection.  What's unproductive is putting additional, unearned onus on yourself for things gone wrong. 

Hear this: whatever happened is never ALL your fault.  So, notice when you're taking on too much responsibility and make the choice to be fair and kind to yourself; otherwise you may prolong and worsen the disappointment and inhibit the resolution.

Channel your energy.  And channel it good.  This is where another one of those annoying statements comes into play..."you can't control what has already happened to you, but you can control how you respond." 

Now that you know you've been disappointed, know why, felt your feelings and regained your strength, respond in a constructive way. 

Take positive action to resolve the matter with the goal of MOVING ON WELL.  This means no quick fixes, no taking all the blame, no careless words and no turning a blind eye when you know there's something you need to do.  Let your disappointment propel you to action to make a positive difference because you ALWAYS can.

Don't let disappointment stop you.  It's a strong and valid feeling, but it comes and goes like all others.  What will you do to make your world better by dealing with it well?


"...but if you try sometimes, you might find you get what you need." -also Mick Jagger


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